Self Love Quote

1* Step to Self-Love

In Order to Love, We Need to Learn to Love Ourselves First…

I read and re-read and read again this quote and thought a lot… Something was holding me back from accepting that these words are true… So True!

Growing up we learn to love others, to treat others how we would like to be treated, and this got me thinking: Do I have to treat others like I would like others to treat me or should I treat others like I treat myself?

Continue reading “1* Step to Self-Love”

Happiness Unhappiness

You Are The Reason for my​ Unhappiness!

Raise your hand if you never ever blamed somebody for your unhappiness!

If you raised your hand good for you, you learned one of the toughest things in life: not blaming somebody for your unhappiness is tough but necessary and you managed it, you are in another level, a higher spiritual level.

But, not blaming somebody for your unhappiness is hard is tough and it requires a degree of humility that you can only achieve with a high level of self-esteem and self-respect because come on you are the owner of your life so if you are unhappy you must change that…

Now, the most common form of unhappiness is the unhappiness we face during a relationship a marriage,( there is also the unhappiness we feel about something we blame our parents for but that’s normal we as sons and daughters blame our parents for many reasons and I’ll talk about this in another post… ) what today I want to talk about is relationships with our partners – husbands – boyfriends and so on…

We grow up imagining the fairy tale, the prince that will take away all our fears and worries that will take care of us making our life fantastic and perfect, a perfect father of perfect children in a perfect house with the perfect cars, fantastic holidays and the most fairytale romance… yeah, whatever your heart desires and that or whatever you imagined is what you imagined to be a perfect life that would make you perfectly happy. So you give all the responsibility to the other person, your happiness is in his/her hands, you just have to sit and wait cause he/she will make you happy! He/she has the responsibility to fulfil your dreams. It’s a must!

(Now I’m writing “he” cause I am a woman but if you are a man reading me just change to “she” and think about what you imagined would make you happy… What I wrote were only examples.)

The point is no matter if you are a man or a woman you imagined something, a life that you certainly believed would make you happy and dropped your hopes and dreams on the other person…

Something happens… The person you are with somehow doesn’t fulfil your dream and you feel unhappy!

Is it his/ her fault?

No, it is not!

It’s your fault! You are unhappy it’s your fault. If you are in a relationship because you want the person to make you happy and you are not? Run!

If the person you are with is not giving you what you thought a partner must give you to be happy? Run!

If you are blaming the person you are with for not fulfilling your standards? Run!

If you think your partner doesn’t make you happy? Run!

Why you must run?

Because you should never be in a relationship so that the other person will make you happy! You should never put your dreams and hopes on somebody else’s back and make them make it work. Run! Set them free from you cause no matter how hard they are gonna work you will never be happy.

It’s not your partners’ duty to make you fulfil your aspirations so you can feel happy!

Why?

Because if you are giving the responsibility of your happiness to another person that means that you have not clear what makes you happy and if you are not happy nobody will ever have the chance to make you happy. If you don’t know how to be happy is it even possible that the person will know? How is he\she will be able to figure out how to make you happy?

You must look inside yourself, think about what you want, decide what happiness means to you and you must work for it!

After you did this then yes. When you will know how to make yourself happy, you will become a happier person your partner will see what makes you happy, he/she will be happy and automatically will make you happy.

Now, I want to make it clear that I’m not talking about extreme relationships involving violence and other bad things that must never happen. I’m talking about normal healthy relationships, where unfortunately we seek happiness through our partners blaming them for our own failures.

If you are in a relationship where you constantly blame your partner for your unhappiness, please stop and search inside yourself for your happiness. Look inside yourself and define your dreams and ambitions, work on yourself and do everything it’s possible to make yourself happy.

Don’t blame others for your unhappiness instead fight for it, starting from working on you and for you.

When you will be happy you will make your partner happy which automatically will make you happy… is a twist of words but to be happy in a relationship starts with you. 

Thank you for reading…

lucy

 

Forgive Yourself… 

Today I would like to Re-Post a Post about how to Forgive Yourself. It is always important to be kind to ourselves.
Thank you for Reading
lucy

Me On Focus

Forgive Yourself…

How easy is it to forgive others? I think that most of us onrush would say “very hard” but if you think and don’t say your answer out loud the answer will be easy… we forgive friends, family members and yes we do forgive things that are hard to forgive but somehow we do, we do forgive… and go on talking to the person and even if it hurts we still love that person and makeup thousands of excuses to still be able to love that person…
Now the question is how easy is it for you to forgive yourself? For me is particularly hard!!! So hard that sometimes I wish to be able to go back to do things totally differently… I remember days and nights spent in bed imagining to go back in time and changing everything or most of it…
I would lose time in…

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Meditation

The Power of Mantras & Affirmations

From today you all see that we started a new phase in our blog. A phase that has more to do with our inner health. The health of our Soul.

Before we start to speak about the importance of Mantras and Affirmations I would like to take just a moment to share with you the researches of the water researcher Dr Emoto who discovered that the structure of water is affected by words, prayers, music and so on…

Dr Omoto’s water crystal experiment studied how words, affirmations, prayers and intentions affect the structure of the water on a molecular level. Love per example created beautiful symmetrical water crystals, hate instead created deformed crystals. So the energy and intention behind the words create lasting negative or positive effects on the water…

Thinking that we as human beings are of 70% made of water can you imagine how deeply we are affected by words? Can you imagine what causes we make to our body by being negative or being around negative people?  Imagine how negativity affects our minds… But the most important thing is how positively we can change our lives by deciding to change our thoughts and views.

Think about how special we are! we are able to change everything by changing our mind.

My father used to say that only ignorant people don’t change their minds, intelligent people change their mind as many times as it is necessary to make it right.

Affirmations and Mantras give us the powerful support to change our thoughts instantly.

The difference between Mantras and Affirmations is how you decide to use it. Affirmations are motivational and Mantras are sacred.

Affirmations are specific statements that help you fight against self-sabotaging, they create a wall against your negative thought so when you feel you are starting to feel negative the affirmation helps you to transform the thought of feeling immediately.

The mantra is a Sanskrit word MaMindTrathat which protects“. Its a prayer recited aloud and repeated internally during meditation.

In My understanding, though affirmations are also a prayer, they are a cry (in desperate moments) to our mind to get out of the negative limbo that it in or about to enter.

Whatever you wanna call it my friend it really doesn’t matter. If you are more logical call it affirmation if you are more spiritual call it Mantra, the important thing at the end of the day is to train our brain to be positive and to connect to the universe.

Me On Focus decided to call it Mantra.

Every day at 7 am (London time) we will post the Mantra of the day if you like the Mantra if it connects with your inner guide create a reminder in your phone and set up an alarm so you’ll see the Mantra throughout the day. When the reminder comes up on your phone take a minute to breathe slowly and repeat the Mantra to yourself and let the Universe do the rest… If you prefer to get inspired, set your own Mantra.

Praying, Meditation, Mantra, Affirmations & etc has nothing to do with religion so even if you don’t have a religion or a belief please believe in yourself (which at the end of the day is the most important) and take your time to recite your Mantra or your affirmation throughout your day.

“The Universe Conspires so That you can Receive Everything Your Mind Desires”

Thank you so much for reading! Have a wonderful week and if you wish to write your today’s mantra in the comments.

Thank you for your support, the month of February was amazing for us because of all of you reading us and sending us your comments and emails! If you wish to be part of our community follow us on Instagram & Facebook  

lucy

Meditation

 

Why “Me On Focus”

Today I would like to Re-blog our first blog post with all of you to remind you and myself why this blog was made. The purpose behind Me On Focus and how I wish you all put yourselves ON FOCUS.

Thank you for reading 🙂

Me On Focus

For a long time, I focused a lot on behaving in a way that I thought it would be the best to make people like me, to attract men and friends. Most of the times I found myself dressing in way that would make women envy, I wanted them to look at me and feel angry because they didn’t look as good as I did (crazy!) I worked out and diet to look the best I could… would spend hours looking at clothes and trying them on imagining what would people think, what would be their reactions and thoughts. I even imagined conversations of what I was going to say when they would tell me how beautiful I looked…
I felt powerful, depending on what I was wearing my walk would change, but the worst thing was that my behaviour also changed… depending on what I was wearing I would…

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Me on focus

Liberate Yourself from Negative People

WOW! March is already here! Where has the time flown that’s incredible!

Well, I would like to start this month by cleaning my soul and spirit from negativity…

Have you ever felt drained and tired after a conversation with a colleague, friend or family member?

Have you ever gone to meet a person feeling super happy and then suddenly after meeting with this person you felt negative?

Have you ever dealt with people that like to create drama, see problems everywhere and always try to find a reason to start a discussion?

To me, it happened many times! And it felt horrible!

I felt horrible with myself by thinking and feeling that the person had a negative impact in my life… I felt ashamed of judging the person. I felt that I didn’t have the right to feel the way I was feeling and most of all I didn’t want to hurt the persons’ feelings by ending the relationship…

Are we allowed to end a relationship (friend, colleague etc..) because of the way we feel when around that person? Are allowed to be selfish by putting our feelings first?

Yes! We definitely are!

We must love yourself first and take the decision of removing the toxic from our life in order to be able to grow to better human beings and in order to be happy and free of stress, but how can you stop seeing a person that makes you feel bad without hurting their feelings? Well at some point you’ll have to choose yourself over that person… The best way is, to be honest, saying how you are feeling and wait for the reaction if the person cares enough about your friendship she\he will try to change if not then I guess the friendship just ended and to be honest it’s better like that!

When I came to the realization that the person was toxic and I just couldn’t deal with the person no more due to the negativity that she/he was bringing to my life I fought hard against myself because I liked the person and didn’t want to end the friendship but, slowly I came to the realization that I was unhappy and always worried about what was coming next, what kind of drama and stress would the person bring next. Till at some point I just said no, explained how I was feeling wishing to the person all the best but far away from me.

Well, I can tell you that I felt relieved. I felt very happy. It seemed like a big rock just fell off my shoulders and finally, I had peace… and peace of mind, feeling peace when around people is very important to our well being, so we shouldn’t think twice about estranging ourselves from the negativity.

Estrange yourself even in negative work environments. Estrange yourself from following negative people on social media and if social media is not making you feel well than estrange yourself from social media.

In order to change our lives for better, we need to estrange all the negativity.

We need to love ourselves and learn how to be happy alone with our own self.

I’ll learn to Love Me, Myself and I first,  in order to able to Love Others.

Me on focus

Thank You for reading 🙂

lucy

 

The Fisherman and the Businessman

There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.

As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite a few big fish.

The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”

The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”

“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.

“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.

The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”

The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”

The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.

“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”

The fisherman continues, “And after that?”

The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”

The fisherman asks, “And after that?”

The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”

The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

This is my Husbands’ favourite short story from Paulo Coelho and it became my favourite too.

Have a great weekend.

Lucy

It's not about the destination

It’s Not about The Destination…

This use to be my Motto years ago… I never ever thought about what I wanted to achieve,  and who I wanted to be in life. The only thing that I wanted to do was work and have fun. When I say have fun I mean to enjoy life, family, and friends, travel, read books and laugh, yes, laugh a lot!

I never thought about being successful, reaching the seven-figure income that now we hear the Gurus talk so much about. It’s all about “I’ll help you to reach the seven-figure income” nos a days is all about being successful and success is measured by having a massive house, a massive boat, a massive closet full of luxury, lots of everything.

Now don’t take me wrong who wouldn’t like that? who wouldn’t like to have all these beautiful things that we see on Youtube, it’s all about unboxing videos where you see this very well dressed and confident ladies opening this fantastic boxes and take out this very expensive bags! I personally love looking at this videos I like seeing the happiness and the joy in the eyes of this ladies when they hold the item in their hands, it’s probably the same face I make when I’m about to eat my favourite food… I love seeing the joy in the eyes of people and of course, I like looking at the bags and shoes.

Even though in the past I was never worried about visualizing the life I wanted by thinking about things I wanted to buy I found myself in these months where I’m struggling to beat anxiety with depression to read various self-help books, in some of the books they say create a vision board with the things you want to achieve in life, with the things you wanna have and look at it every day and focus on achieving them, the universe will conspire on your favour and re-adjust to make you have these items… Going through this hard time of my life in a crazy self-beating therapy I somehow tricked my old brain by lying to myself and I started to think that I’m not successful because I don’t have a Villa I started to measure the happiness of my life by the items I possess. So I started to look at houses I want to have, cars I want to drive, fancy places I want to visit, luxury clothes I want to wear and yesterday I decided that I was gonna print the pictures and create the vision board…

Bad Decision!

The moment I started to look at those things and thinking about putting them on the board the old manager in me came back with all its strength and power and started to yell at me!!!  “Hey, did you say board? Oh so things on the board mean problems to solve, so let’s start a plan, let’s start to work on procedures to make all this happen! Let’s analyze, calculate and put a project in place! Let’s think about productivity projects that will improve the financial health of this company (wait you are not in a company, whatever you are working from home) common no time to lose let’s do it, by the way, what’s the spending target and what is the cash flow?”

I felt the anxiety rushing and the need to take notes! Then I thought Gosh what am I doing to myself?! Do I really need all this pressure in life to be happy? Do I really need a 7 figure income to be happy? Do I really need the Villa? I know that if I work hard, focus and plan is possible, when you work hard there is no limit to what you can achieve. But the question is: Do I want to live my life with the destination on a board pressuring me all the time to arrive quick? Do I want to have these items on the board reminding me or better making me believe that my happiness depends on them? HECK NO!

Items are just items, they are just things… Which I’ll never love. My bags they are in the wardrobe forgotten I don’t think about them… Why do I want a boat that will limit my vacations? my brain would oblige me to use it! Why do I want a massive house to feel successful? am I gonna use all the bloody rooms every day? I looked at my house and remembered that I didn’t go to the living room the last 24 hours so if I would have a massive house it means I wouldn’t use all the rooms all the time so what’s the point? Do I really need to create a board with things that I don’t need as they say on the books? No, I don’t!

What I need is to live a happy life with no stress and pressure. What I need is to feel interior peace. I know what I’m capable of speaking about career and money. I know that anyone is capable of making money and tons of money. What I know is that if I’ll really want anything material I know how to make it happen. But, what I decided to do is to enjoy the journey of not pressuring myself with this vision board, what I decided to do is to go back to the old values that made me so happy.

Money, wealth is the consequences of your work it’s not a measurement system of your personal success!

Success cannot be measured by the amount of money/things a person have, cause anybody can make money but not everybody becomes successful…

I’ll enjoy the journey having the certainty that the destination is amazing and I’ll let life surprise with its wonderful destination.

lucy

It's not about the destination

Fear…

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm.

Only reading its definition it already causes a certain bad feeling, isn’t it?

Well, fear is the cause of all our problems and weaknesses, it’s the hardest feeling to overcome.

Some might think that for a positive person fear isn’t a word that exists in their vocabulary… WRONG!!! Totally wrong! A positive person is positive because he/she found a way to overcome fear. Overcome, not hide or do as fear isn’t there… because fear always will appear for some reason…

I read many books about positivity and about how we shouldn’t feel fear and always concentrate on the positive but, what I found is that at the end I got the fear of feeling fear… I was totally scared about thinking about my doubts and worries and this, of course, caused me stressed.

“When fear and doubtful thoughts pop in your head just push it away, listen to music, do something that you like, try anything to avoid these fear thoughts….” they wrote but, this didn’t help me.

I was very upset, I thought that I wasn’t strong enough to control my mind. For a long period, I even decided that maybe this positive thingy just didn’t work for me…

I was wrong!

It wasn’t me (not) being strong enough. It was just that with me that method of overcoming fear and doubt wasn’t right, for me it wasn’t working.

We, humans, are all different from each other, what might work for me doesn’t have to necessarily work for you… Take a look at your right hand, now look at your left hand, are they the same? cover the right side of your face take a look at it and compare it to the left side? is it the same? Of course not! so if we weren’t even created exactly the same as the other half of our body how can we except that we will think and mentally work all the same? we just can’t, we are all different from each other…

So we all agree that fear is not good. We all agree that self-doubt is not good, we must learn how to work it out and trust ourselves. But does it really work to hide it?

Not for me!

This is what worked for me…

When fear and doubt arrives I just face them! I meditate and concentrate on what made this feeling emerge, I write about it and analyse my fear, something like the math problems we use to do during school. I question my fears and doubts and analyse them.

What? How? Why? and When?

For each question, I write the answer and I try to find the solution, I analyse every accept of that feeling breaking it down to try to understand why I feel like that. I try to understand the heart of that fear, what caused that fear… I analyse what self-doubts that fear is bringing me, I try to understand if it’s a new fear or a new one. I write everything down, every emotion and feeling even the most painful and ridiculous…

Now is everything on paper, I can see it there black on white is not a monster,  just words on paper they have no power over me.

I see it.

I can destroy it!

During this all process my mind is somehow getting lighter and lighter and what seemed to be too much for me suddenly it doesn’t mean anything. They were just useless thoughts.

I analysed them and I can see that they were all conditioned by external events that are not important. They were caused by words or acts of other people that shouldn’t even have such an important place in my life because the people that I want in my life don’t make me feel bad.

Finally, when I see my fears and doubts on paper I can see that I’m stronger!

I thank the Universe for making go through this. I thank the Universe for making me learn from my fears and make me stronger and, now I can meditate or listen to music, now I can leave everything behind and concentrate on my positive thinking, on my visualisation.

Curious is that I never go back to read what I wrote… Is there in the past where it belongs… Maybe if one day I’ll go back to read it I’ll find out that I wrote over and over the same thing… Who knows… What I know is that this makes me feel better, this works for me.

We are Humans fear and self-doubts will arrive at some point… Well, when this happens just take your Diary and write it down…

Don’t hide it…

Don’t try to control yourself…

Let it flow…

Let it come all out…

Cry if you need to…

Lough at your fears…

Thank them…

Say Good Bye to them…

Meonfocus_Stronger

Let us know how you overcome fear and self-doubt?

Thank you for reading.

Lucy

 

 

 

Listen and Learn

Great Day to All!

It is time to write my first post, and I decided to talk about listening, as this was the first thing I came across early on in my life. It all started when I turned 18 and started to serve in the military. Freshly graduated from high school and got into an environment where I had to live my life with people from all backgrounds, education levels and values and beliefs.

First, it was tough to accept the change than I soon realised that you have to listen and pay attention to every person. If you shut the little voice in your head, telling you that “I know this better”, and start to listen instead, you can learn from what they have to tell in their own ways.

In other words, if you listen carefully you will keep on learning. Think about it in a way, that you can capture 20…30..40 years of wisdom, depending on the age of your communication partner in a single minute. How magnificent is that? It is like taking an anti-ageing pill every time you listen, you can accumulate thousands of years of wisdom pretty quick, and you do not have to live those thousands of years.

Image result for wisdom

 

Later on, during my years in university, I also applied this learning. I have tried to walk around in open mind, took on extra curriculums where I could pick up new learnings.

However, with the information overflow, you have to be careful, not to take anything granted. You have to also develop your own wisdom, and filter and process the information and learnings coming towards you. You must not just store the information but you have to process it, distil it and put in into the right section and right chapter where it belongs. You also have to add your own thoughts to it to make your mark.

One of my favourite movies, Forest Gump is one of the loveliest stories about what I am trying to say in here.

Image result for forrest gump

I am using this in my work. I mostly work in manufacturing environments, and what you have to realise in there (as being a manager), that no matter what happens in a meeting, or what the numbers show, the true story is written on the manufacturing floor. Try to spend time there, listen to the people, collect the information and then distil it in your own way. This will also help you to do your work, build connections and trust to get things done.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting!

Have a Great Day!

Gabor