It’s been a long time since the last time I wrote and the reason for that is only one! Self Sabotaging! Yes! And, it’s bad!
I made mistakes that costed my self confidence, but the biggest mistake was thinking that to write about my life and my way of living everything needed to be perfect but, as we all know nothing is perfect and is impossible to be perfect.
I thought that I needed to be perfect in everything I did, from eating healthy, exercising and meditation… Reading the right books, having strict routines and the house being Pinterest perfect… the list can go on and on and on… This race to achieve perfection in order to write and be deserved of being read made me fall in such a bad way that when I think about I feel like laughing! Yes, now I think about how f****ed up I felt and I want to laugh cause Gosh how stupid was I? Life is amazing cause it’s not perfect, we human beings are amazing cause we are not perfect… That’s it!
I’m not perfect and I won’t wait for everything to be perfect before I start to do the things I feel deep in my heart I want to do.
So guys I want to tell you something… I’m not perfect! No, I’m not a perfectionist… And hey you know what? I like this sh*it.
What have I done this year and a half that I’ve been away from Me On Focus? Well I moved twice: From the UK to Hungary and from Hungary to Slovakia… Right now I’m in Slovakia it’s f****ing cold but it’s interesting. But don’t worry cause we are not staying here long in the summer we will be moving again I just don’t know where to yet! I’m smiling while i’m writing this phrase cause the only thought that soon we will have a new adventure makes smile, I love this life style!
I’ve been crochetting a lot and I organised some crochet workshops in Budapest. I listened to loads of Audibles, slept a lot, worked in a company for a short period just to have the confirmation that I don’t want that kind of life for myself… I travelled a lot, I drove more than 20 K miles around Eastern Europe… Was pretty exciting! Danced a lot on the sound of Anitta (Brazilian PopStar) with her I learned to move my derrier in ways I never thought possible hahahaha.
I cried a lot but I also laughed so loud that my kids came to see if I was ok and it was amazing!
The best thing about this year and half away from Me On Focus is that Today I know what I want and what I want is to just be me and that’s it.
What I know for sure NOW is that I’m not perfect and never will be and that’s amazing!
I’m excited about this new decade 2020 what a beautiful number.
Happy New Year