You are laying in bed and you know that at some point you’ll have to get up and get yourself together to get back to life, but you are scared because the memory of the old you is a constant, you want to be the person you used to be, you want to do the things you used to do, you want to go back to work, you want to show that you are feeling better and a flood of emotions come to your mind with fear and, fear will stop you, fear won’t let you get up. Fear will stop you getting out of your bed and will give you a million excuses, the most common excuses are “You poor thing, you are not made to live in this world full of bad people, stay in bed honey” and you’ll stay in bed. You’ll wake up later finding out that the day passed by and again you stayed in bed all day… You’ll get mad at yourself and, self-beating will start…
You know that depression has lots of phases, in my experience the phase described above is the best one… Because you are realising that you cannot stay in bed anymore, you are realizing that you want your life back, you are finally able to think about one thing so great job this is good news! You might think “Lucy, how can this be good I’m super scary and fear doesn’t allow me to take action!” Well, I say it’s good because finally you are able to see what the problem is and, if you can see the problem you can also find the solution, I’ll tell you that if you see the problem you already know the solution so the only thing to do here is to get rid of the fear…
So you realised that you don’t want to live like this, you don’t want to stay in bed or in the house all the day long, you actually want to go back to your life and the only thing holding you is fear. Well, who said that you have to go back to your old life? If you are afraid of going back to the person you were because you know what it feels like then, build a new life, start from zero 🙂
You know exactly how your life used to be, and you know exactly what made you unhappy, unhappy to the point of developing depression, so why do you want to go back? And you know what I’m not only speaking about people with depression I’m talking to all of you that don’t have depression yet but are unhappy with your life. If your old life doesn’t bring you joy, change it! Change it before you get ill. Change it now so you can get out of depression and be joyful.
You might think “Lucy, you crazy how can I change my life? I have responsibilities, a family I cannot do that!” Yes, you can! Life is made to be lived with joy and happiness, no-where is written that you must feel miserable in order to be responsible.
Life is a blank canvas that you can paint with whatever colours you want… And the best thing is that you can decide to get a new canvas whenever you want!!! Isn’t it amazing?
” I am Afraid!” Yes, I know and understand you but, fear is something that is there and always gonna be there we cannot change that, fear is what keeps us alive, fear is what keeps us from doing stupid shit that can kill us or harm us so it’s good that we feel fear. Try to look at your fear and tell her “Hey Fear, thank you so much for trying to save my life and protect me from getting disappointed, thank you for trying to save me from disappointments and keeping me comfortable but, SHUT UP NOW!”
Do you understand what I mean? I mean that fear will always be present inside of you but try to look at it in a positive way and, here comes the bit that saved me: Gratitude.
Yes, gratitude… When I felt fear, I answered with a big Thank You and this is when my Mantras began… Do you know our Morning Mantras? They were born as a tool for me to stop fear from holding me back to start my life from zero… So the first mantra was:
“Thank You Fear for Trying to Protect me but, Today I Decide to See Love Instead of Fear, Today I Decide to Love My Self and Feel Joy”
I stopped battling with myself to go back to my old self! I thought quickly at that person back then and I asked myself why do you want to be that lucy, that lucy wasn’t making you happy, build a new one… Start From Zero! And here I went, I started to focus on the person I wanted to be, Me On Focus was the only thing I could think of, I told myself I’m gonna write about how to live a joyful life, I was still afraid of course… I was afraid of what friends and colleagues would think of me from manager to blogger… I felt a little-ashamed thinking that they would make fun of me but the love and passion for this new project were so strong that I thanked fear for trying to protect me and went ahead doing what brought me joy.
I started from zero. I love it! Now I stay at home not because I’m afraid of the world, but, because I love my new job, I love writing and recording podcasts, I love interacting with the amazing people life is giving me the opportunity to meet. I love to read messages where people describe how the Morning Mantras are helping them… I love to read how the exercises are making them see life differently and helping them to make some changes in order to be joyful. I won’t tell you that I’m constantly happy because it’s impossible but what I can tell you is that my heart is joyful, and, even when something happens I still feel joy inside my heart and I’m able to see the positive side of everything that happens.
Nothing happens for no reason. If you are facing depression, anxiety or any other problems I would like to tell you that as soon as you will decide to feel gratitude things will immediately change and you’ll find the solution for your problems. I know that there are some things that are very hard to feel grateful for, even impossible to feel grateful for but, is where forgiveness comes, forgive what and whoever made you suffer not for them but for yourself in order to be able to move on and live the life you deserve…
This post is getting too long so I’ll split into two parts, I don’t want you to get bored 😀 You can listen to the Podcast Version of this Blog Post on the links below:
Thank you for reading me, and thank you for writing to me 🙂
Have wonderful Saturday, Stay Blessed and Positive ❤