This is the second day of the Mental Health Awareness Week and I would like to write about the symptoms and signs that you or somebody close to you is feeling when affected by depression. We need to be careful and not judge the signs and symptoms as a bad mood, tough character or judging the person to be lazy.
It’s very hard for the person that is facing these symptoms to admit that behind everything is depression…
The signs of Depression may vary from people to people but most of the times the signs and symptoms that you will read below are the most common…
It all starts with the feeling of sadness, at some point you are doing the daily tasks that brought you joy and happiness in the past but now it doesn’t bring you any feelings or it makes you sad… You try to think and find reasons for why you are sad but you can’t find any… You try to focus but your mind doesn’t let you, you start feeling like your mind is thinking a million things at the same time which you cannot understand the thoughts and distinguish one from the other and this makes you feel very tired. You try to stop and think about one thing at the time to separate the thoughts from one another and understand what is going on… but is impossible! At some point, you start feeling mad at yourself for not being able to think… The disappointment grows you start feeling mad at yourself and others. You stop and oblige yourself to function, you start beating your mind up and migraines arrive… The next step is the bed you lay down and you sleep only when you are sleeping your mind gives you a break and you feel at peace.
You feel overwhelmed, you cannot control yourself and thoughts of failure arise…
I’m a failure
Nothing good ever happens in my life
I destroy everything
nobody loves me
I don’t want to see anybody
I was never good enough, I will never be good enough I’m worth nothing
People would be happier if I wasn’t alive
I Hate this life
I don’t want to live anymore
Your body will start feeling pain, all your muscles will ache, your head will ache, you’ll take medicines but it won’t work, you will start over drugging yourself to put yourself to sleep.
You won’t sleep, it will seem that you slept for hours but when you look at the clock you will see that just minutes passed by… You will wake up during the night and will walk around the house searching for something that you don’t really know what is… You will feel like you want to be alone but at the same time, you want to know that somebody is there for you… But when somebody will be with you, you will count the seconds for this person to leave so you can be alone again…
You want to stay alone, you feel pressure when somebody is with you, you try to act like you are supposed to act to kind of look normal cause you know that something is wrong and you don’t feel normal, you are judging yourself and you worry that somebody will discover that something is wrong… your body will react to all this control and pressure that you are putting on and will shake… You don’t realise that you are shaking people will start asking if you are ok and that will drive you mad! “Of Course, I’m ok, why are you asking?” Deeply you wish that somebody will come and tell you what is going on with you and will tell you the magical phrase that will make you feel better and make all those feelings disappear as magic.
You go back to bed.
Now your conditions are affecting everything in your life…
You are not getting work done at school or work. You are not interested in the house and on your things, you are not showering or taking care of your image. You are gaining or losing weight and all these changes makes you feel guilty. You start being negative about everything and you start seeing that people and friends try to stay away from you.
You are not leaving the house anymore. You cannot read. You start losing short-term memory. You lose the conception of time and place.
All the symptoms above are the symptoms that I had… Everything is written above was the person I was not long ago… I thought I was just stressed from work and just needed a vacation until one day I had a panic attack that obliged to face what was really going on with me.
I was diagnosed: Anxiety with Depression – Pannick attacks incapability of leaving the house: Agoraphobia. I could only leave the house for a short period and only with my husband.
The Symptoms of Anxiety… Fear, when you have anxiety you are afraid of everything, everything that you might do or think about doing will bring you the feeling of not being good enough, even things that until yesterday you were the best at today you will feel that you are not able of doing them even the most simple task… You are not able to sit still or stand still your body is always shaking or moving in my case I was shaking and my left leg was always trembling. Nausea. Sweaty and cold. Dizziness. Dry Mouth. Tense Muscles. Panic.
The Panic was for me the worst feeling… I was afraid of having a panic attack so, I would have panic attacks.
I wanted to die, but a voice inside of me didn’t let me. A voice inside of me was screaming don’t be selfish!!! You cannot kill yourself you are going to ruin the life of the people that love you!!! You can make it by fighting and staying alive.
I sought help. I took medicines for some months. I gave up my job. I gave myself time.
If you resemble the symptoms above please seek help immediately…! You are not alone! You are not lazy! You are not what your mind is telling, it is a phase of your life that will end and you will be able to start a new beautiful life no matter how you are feeling right now. Seek for Help Please.
if you know somebody that suddenly changed their behaviour and start to act like this please don’t judge, please don’t step away for this person, please help him\her and be patient.
I would like to emphasize once again that this are not the symptoms that you or the person near you might have, every person is different.
This is a list of the most common sign and symptoms of depression:
- not going out anymore
- not getting things done at work/school
- withdrawing from close family and friends
- relying on alcohol and sedatives
- not doing usually enjoyable activities
- unable to concentrate
- lacking in confidence
- ‘I’m a failure.’
- ‘It’s my fault.’
- ‘Nothing good ever happens to me.’
- ‘I’m worthless.’
- ‘Life’s not worth living.’
- ‘People would be better off without me.’
- tired all the time
- sick and run down
- headaches and muscle pains
- churning gut
- sleep problems
- loss or change of appetite
- significant weight loss or gain