Raise your hand if you never ever blamed somebody for your unhappiness!
If you raised your hand good for you, you learned one of the toughest things in life: not blaming somebody for your unhappiness is tough but necessary and you managed it, you are in another level, a higher spiritual level.
But, not blaming somebody for your unhappiness is hard is tough and it requires a degree of humility that you can only achieve with a high level of self-esteem and self-respect because come on you are the owner of your life so if you are unhappy you must change that…
Now, the most common form of unhappiness is the unhappiness we face during a relationship a marriage,( there is also the unhappiness we feel about something we blame our parents for but that’s normal we as sons and daughters blame our parents for many reasons and I’ll talk about this in another post… ) what today I want to talk about is relationships with our partners – husbands – boyfriends and so on…
We grow up imagining the fairy tale, the prince that will take away all our fears and worries that will take care of us making our life fantastic and perfect, a perfect father of perfect children in a perfect house with the perfect cars, fantastic holidays and the most fairytale romance… yeah, whatever your heart desires and that or whatever you imagined is what you imagined to be a perfect life that would make you perfectly happy. So you give all the responsibility to the other person, your happiness is in his/her hands, you just have to sit and wait cause he/she will make you happy! He/she has the responsibility to fulfil your dreams. It’s a must!
(Now I’m writing “he” cause I am a woman but if you are a man reading me just change to “she” and think about what you imagined would make you happy… What I wrote were only examples.)
The point is no matter if you are a man or a woman you imagined something, a life that you certainly believed would make you happy and dropped your hopes and dreams on the other person…
Something happens… The person you are with somehow doesn’t fulfil your dream and you feel unhappy!
Is it his/ her fault?
No, it is not!
It’s your fault! You are unhappy it’s your fault. If you are in a relationship because you want the person to make you happy and you are not? Run!
If the person you are with is not giving you what you thought a partner must give you to be happy? Run!
If you are blaming the person you are with for not fulfilling your standards? Run!
If you think your partner doesn’t make you happy? Run!
Why you must run?
Because you should never be in a relationship so that the other person will make you happy! You should never put your dreams and hopes on somebody else’s back and make them make it work. Run! Set them free from you cause no matter how hard they are gonna work you will never be happy.
It’s not your partners’ duty to make you fulfil your aspirations so you can feel happy!
Because if you are giving the responsibility of your happiness to another person that means that you have not clear what makes you happy and if you are not happy nobody will ever have the chance to make you happy. If you don’t know how to be happy is it even possible that the person will know? How is he\she will be able to figure out how to make you happy?
You must look inside yourself, think about what you want, decide what happiness means to you and you must work for it!
After you did this then yes. When you will know how to make yourself happy, you will become a happier person your partner will see what makes you happy, he/she will be happy and automatically will make you happy.
Now, I want to make it clear that I’m not talking about extreme relationships involving violence and other bad things that must never happen. I’m talking about normal healthy relationships, where unfortunately we seek happiness through our partners blaming them for our own failures.
If you are in a relationship where you constantly blame your partner for your unhappiness, please stop and search inside yourself for your happiness. Look inside yourself and define your dreams and ambitions, work on yourself and do everything it’s possible to make yourself happy.
Don’t blame others for your unhappiness instead fight for it, starting from working on you and for you.
When you will be happy you will make your partner happy which automatically will make you happy… is a twist of words but to be happy in a relationship starts with you.
Thank you for reading…