Why “Me On Focus”

For a long time, I focused a lot on behaving in a way that I thought it would be best to make people like me, to attract men and friends. Most of the times I found myself dressing in way that would make women envy, I wanted them to look at me and feel angry because they didn’t look as good as I did (crazy!) I worked out and diet to look the best I could… would spend hours looking at clothes and trying them on imagining what would people think, what would be their reactions and thoughts. I even imagined conversations of what I was going to say when they would tell me how beautiful I looked…
I felt powerful, depending on what I was wearing my walk would change, but the worst thing was that my behavior also changed… depending on what I was wearing I would be a totally different person most of the times mean and full of myself…

No matter what I did, no matter how good I looked I still didn’t have the attention and the reaction that I expected, so I totally changed again, I decided that I wouldn’t care about the way I looked, I shaved my head, began to wear black baggy clothes, gained some extra kilos, started to watch a lot of TV shows especially reality shows… my readings also changed I started to read easy books the ones that make you laugh dream about fancy love stories and luxury vacations, not that there is something bad about this but in my case, I was trying to escape from my life and imagining I was one of these beautiful women living this incredible love stories with rich men.

For a long time, my thought was I need to change! I need to change the city! Nothing changed… oh maybe I need to change the country! Nothing changed… I need to change my look! Nothing changed… The easy answer was in front of me, screaming at me but I was blind and deaf and wouldn’t pain attention…

What I really needed was to focus on myself!!! Not on what would people think about me, not on how people saw me. I didn’t need to seek appreciation because the only appreciation I needed was the attention and appreciation from me to myself…

I started to read, meditate and work on visualizing the life I wanted.

I started to listen to myself… and I finally began to find my way… what I want to be, how I want to live without thinking about working to gain the appreciation of others.

I decided that my journey was going to be focused on me, and this is the reason why I called this blog “Me On Focus” to remind myself and you that at the end of the day to be happy and to make people around us happy we must first of all focus on ourselves…

Me On Focus is for all of us! Me on Focus is to remind you to put yourself On Focus!

 

lucy

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